Other Faces

 

Maybe I do have many faces.

 

My mind goes to dark places at night.

I feel a shift inside me I can’t stop, I can’t fight.

 

It’s, like, I know I’m happy or at the very least content,

But this ugliness, this darkness consumes me without my consent.

 

This “other face” wants to hurt and cause pain and say hateful things;

No matter how hard I struggle, she controls my everything.

 

I can only helplessly watch the destruction she causes,

And feel guilt and depression whenever she pauses.

 

She uses my lips and my tongue to spew evil,

Leaving my life in an upheaval.

 

Why can’t I stop this “other face?”

Why won’t she allow me to be chaste?

 

It’s happening again…

 

I can feel my mind being warped and clouded by this angry presence.

I’m feeling the need to be destructive; I’m feeling myself lessen.

 

It’s like an urge I can’t deny,

No matter how bad I want to, no matter how hard I try.

 

Why can’t I exorcise this person?

I’m idle, complacent, as things worsen.

 

I have no choice but to embrace this,

Maybe I do have many faces.

 

 

© Chelsie Cummings 2016

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